The Longest List of Things That Did Not Need to Be This Long

A fictional collection of long-winded objects. No world records, restoration claims, or tape measures were harmed.

1. The meeting before the meeting

   A preliminary discussion to establish whether a discussion should be discussed. Minutes unavailable. Hours plentiful.

2. The goodbye in the doorway

   Everyone is leaving. Nobody has left. A completely new subject has just been introduced.

3. The printer’s final minute

   One minute remaining, according to a device that has apparently rejected the usual definition of time.

4. The filename

   final_really_final_this_one_approved_v7_USE_THIS_ONE_actually_final.txt

5. The receipt for one item

   Thank you for buying batteries. Here is a small paper staircase containing several surveys.

The committee considers this long enough. The committee can be overruled.